Friday night at 11:36pm
I do realize that my past entries are either lyrics or recipes even though I have another blog which is dedicated especially to all the recipes but oh well who give a damn it's not like anyone reads it.
Yes, it is nearly midnight on Friday and it's so quiet here in where I am right now. Not quite sure that it's a good or bad thing. Friday night has always been like this ever since....gosh...ages ago..probably since mid 2008. Isn't it funny when you want to get away to quiet place, you happen to be at the loudest place but when you want to be somewhere more vibrant..there's nowhere you can go and I think I'm in the latter case.
Life has its ups and downs and regrettably, it seems like my graph is declining as the day goes by. Good laugh is hard to come by these days as well as random smiles on my face.
I used to know what i want out of this empty life, but truth to be told now I don't know what I want anymore. Everywhere I turn, I see conflicts. It's not like I'm looking for one and It's also not other people's faults. Nevertheless, I'm not going to blame myself for whatever things that happened because that's the lowest thing one can do and that's not who I am. Compromise is valid in most conflicts but not all.
It's hard when you have to juggle so many things at the same time and when you can't decide what to prioritize first that's the worst you can get. As if, you're riding a bike but want to talk on the phone and licking your favourite ice cream at the same time. You can't decide what to do first. You can choose to ride the bike to your destination but there might not be phone signal or your ice cream will be completely melted by the time you finish talking on the phone. I used to say 'time will tell' but do I have all the time in the world? the answer for that is most likely 'no' plus life is too short so might as well live life to the max.
There are so many things in life that I need to do before I die and only God knows when that will be. Nobody's perfect that's true but it doesn't mean you cannot try to be one I'm trying to be a better person but in my own standard not others. At the end of the day, nobody knows you except yourself and frankly, I don't even know myself so i'm sorry to say that it's very unconvincing when other people say to your face 'Come on, I do know you and I know what you are like'.
Forest Gump said life is like a box of chocolate but I say life is like a messy kitchen drawer. You know what's in there and you know what you can get from that drawer but because the drawer is so messy there are chances that you might accidentally grasp on to a blade of the sharpest knife in there or you might get a ladle instead of rice scoop. Well, my metaphor isn't as deep as Mr.Gump but hey I don't have his haircut so you have to let me get away with it.
People want to achieve things in life and that's great, I encourage people to do that. In fact, I'm one of those people who want to achieve something in life, yet right now I don't even know what it is that I want to achieve. All I know is that, I want to see the world, I want to try this and that even though I will cry at the end and I want to know before I die that my life is worth for something or someone.
I know that I can't please everyone even though I've tried really hard but obviously for some people it is not enough. So I have decided that from now on I will do what I want or whatever pop up first thing in my head. I used to care so much about things up to the point where I lost my individuality but overtime I grew numb and it's not a bad thing I have to say. It puts you in different perspective and things that people used to tell you come back and hit you and make you realize that hey...they were right and I was wrong.
Everyone knows that life is unpredictable and it is inevitable to accept that things might not go according to plan. Yes I know that for a fact but I just don't accept it. People demand you to be reasonable but why? to avoid conflicts? I choose what I want and if I want people's opinion then I will ask but if I don't ask it means I don't want your opinion.
Disagreement is an ongoing thing and there's nothing wrong with it. Conflicts are good in terms of seeing things in different viewpoint, it's just that I don't like what you see that's all.
If there's a remote control that can influence or direct my life, I would press on pause and leave it to that. Pause on the part where I'm by myself and nobody else around me. That's the best part ever.
What i need now is good art, good music, good place where i can regain myself because lately when I look in the mirror, I don't see myself or recognize who I was before. That's it...I don't miss anything else. Other things are just different elements that make your life either more interesting or dull and to be honest, lately those elements are the latter one.
Wish I know how to play music instruments, not that I'm going to compose my own song which could be good. Wish I learn to say no instead of yes and yes instead of no in some certain situations in the past but since I can't turn back time I just have to suck it up and go along with it.
Isn't it weird when you get up in the morning and you know that something that used to be in your room isn't there anymore and you wonder why and how but have no will to search for it because deep down you know it's no point in doing so.
Don't you hate it when people say 'things happen for reasons' when you know that sometimes things just happen for no reason.
Have you ever wonder what it would be like if you open the door and there's nowhere for you to go.
Isn't it funny to see people being untruthful but again you still let them get away with it. Or maybe you are the one who's lying to yourself.
Is there an end to everything? If so, where and when?
Yes, it is nearly midnight on Friday and it's so quiet here in where I am right now. Not quite sure that it's a good or bad thing. Friday night has always been like this ever since....gosh...ages ago..probably since mid 2008. Isn't it funny when you want to get away to quiet place, you happen to be at the loudest place but when you want to be somewhere more vibrant..there's nowhere you can go and I think I'm in the latter case.
Life has its ups and downs and regrettably, it seems like my graph is declining as the day goes by. Good laugh is hard to come by these days as well as random smiles on my face.
I used to know what i want out of this empty life, but truth to be told now I don't know what I want anymore. Everywhere I turn, I see conflicts. It's not like I'm looking for one and It's also not other people's faults. Nevertheless, I'm not going to blame myself for whatever things that happened because that's the lowest thing one can do and that's not who I am. Compromise is valid in most conflicts but not all.
It's hard when you have to juggle so many things at the same time and when you can't decide what to prioritize first that's the worst you can get. As if, you're riding a bike but want to talk on the phone and licking your favourite ice cream at the same time. You can't decide what to do first. You can choose to ride the bike to your destination but there might not be phone signal or your ice cream will be completely melted by the time you finish talking on the phone. I used to say 'time will tell' but do I have all the time in the world? the answer for that is most likely 'no' plus life is too short so might as well live life to the max.
There are so many things in life that I need to do before I die and only God knows when that will be. Nobody's perfect that's true but it doesn't mean you cannot try to be one I'm trying to be a better person but in my own standard not others. At the end of the day, nobody knows you except yourself and frankly, I don't even know myself so i'm sorry to say that it's very unconvincing when other people say to your face 'Come on, I do know you and I know what you are like'.
Forest Gump said life is like a box of chocolate but I say life is like a messy kitchen drawer. You know what's in there and you know what you can get from that drawer but because the drawer is so messy there are chances that you might accidentally grasp on to a blade of the sharpest knife in there or you might get a ladle instead of rice scoop. Well, my metaphor isn't as deep as Mr.Gump but hey I don't have his haircut so you have to let me get away with it.
People want to achieve things in life and that's great, I encourage people to do that. In fact, I'm one of those people who want to achieve something in life, yet right now I don't even know what it is that I want to achieve. All I know is that, I want to see the world, I want to try this and that even though I will cry at the end and I want to know before I die that my life is worth for something or someone.
I know that I can't please everyone even though I've tried really hard but obviously for some people it is not enough. So I have decided that from now on I will do what I want or whatever pop up first thing in my head. I used to care so much about things up to the point where I lost my individuality but overtime I grew numb and it's not a bad thing I have to say. It puts you in different perspective and things that people used to tell you come back and hit you and make you realize that hey...they were right and I was wrong.
Everyone knows that life is unpredictable and it is inevitable to accept that things might not go according to plan. Yes I know that for a fact but I just don't accept it. People demand you to be reasonable but why? to avoid conflicts? I choose what I want and if I want people's opinion then I will ask but if I don't ask it means I don't want your opinion.
Disagreement is an ongoing thing and there's nothing wrong with it. Conflicts are good in terms of seeing things in different viewpoint, it's just that I don't like what you see that's all.
If there's a remote control that can influence or direct my life, I would press on pause and leave it to that. Pause on the part where I'm by myself and nobody else around me. That's the best part ever.
What i need now is good art, good music, good place where i can regain myself because lately when I look in the mirror, I don't see myself or recognize who I was before. That's it...I don't miss anything else. Other things are just different elements that make your life either more interesting or dull and to be honest, lately those elements are the latter one.
Wish I know how to play music instruments, not that I'm going to compose my own song which could be good. Wish I learn to say no instead of yes and yes instead of no in some certain situations in the past but since I can't turn back time I just have to suck it up and go along with it.
Isn't it weird when you get up in the morning and you know that something that used to be in your room isn't there anymore and you wonder why and how but have no will to search for it because deep down you know it's no point in doing so.
Don't you hate it when people say 'things happen for reasons' when you know that sometimes things just happen for no reason.
Have you ever wonder what it would be like if you open the door and there's nowhere for you to go.
Isn't it funny to see people being untruthful but again you still let them get away with it. Or maybe you are the one who's lying to yourself.
Is there an end to everything? If so, where and when?
posted by Princess of Darkness at
1:35 am
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